The ultimate consultant: Ghostbusters
In addition to being a research and educational institution, AHI is a consultancy – we are specialists brought in to solve particular large, complex problems (or rather, to help people solve the problems themselves, since like other consultants we go away when the job is done).
Can we possibly restructure this financing, kemo sabe?
In the twenty-plus years I’ve been a self-taught consultant, either via AHI or elsewhere, I have always been ready to learn from the masters of consulting, including the complete consultancy:
The Ghostbusters.
Start with their corporate name. It’s clear, it’s catchy, it’s active (verb and direct object). The entity’s name tells you its value proposition. Melding the business name to your name associates them in the customer’s mind as powerfully as Kleenex, Frisbee, Ping-Pong, and Polaroid.
Periodically I return to the masterwork, and study the condensed business wisdom so memorably presented there, which I’ve helpfully grouped into critical categories.
1. Securing business
“When there’s something strange/ in your neighborhood/
Who ya gonna call? Ghost-busters!”
A. When framing the consultant’s brand message and value proposition, emphasize responsiveness:
Dr. Peter Venkman: [surrounded by excited reporters during the montage sequence, which shows the Ghostbusters as a sudden popular culture craze] Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week,
Express the capability of solving a wide variety of problems:
no job is too big,
Price on value, not cost.
no fee is too big!
The bigger they come, the bigger we charge!
B. When seeking to generate leads, let customers self-select:
[In a TV commercial]
Dr. Ray Stantz: Are you troubled by strange noises in the middle of the night?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement or attic?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Have you or your family ever seen a spook, spectre or ghost?
Dr. Ray Stantz: If the answer is “yes,” then don’t wait another minute. Pick up the phone and call the professionals…
Dr. Ray Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Dr. Peter Venkman: Ghostbusters.
Be ready to respond to their impulse:
Dr. Ray Stantz: Our courteous and efficient staff is on call 24 hours a day to serve all your supernatural elimination needs.
Emphasize personal commitment and convey trustworthiness, so that prospects will be comfortable confiding their concerns to you.
Dr. Ray Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Dr. Peter Venkman: We’re ready to believe you.
No claim too incredible for us to believe
C. No matter how technically capable a team, the first order of business is sales, because to consult, you need customers:
Janine Melnitz: [answers the phone] Hello, Ghostbusters. Yes, of course they’re serious. You do? You have? No kidding. Just gimme the address. Oh sure, they will be totally discreet. Thank you.
[hangs up]
The first rule of selling: when the prospect says yes, hang up the phone.
Janine Melnitz: WE GOT ONE.
2. Managing the business and client service
Door-to-door service a specialty
A. Even if your consultancy is a startup, present yourself with the professionalism of an incumbent:
Dr. Peter Venkman: To our first customer.
Dr. Ray Stantz: To our first and only customer.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I’m gonna need to draw some petty cash. I should take her out to dinner. We don’t wanna lose her.
Dr. Ray Stantz: Uhhh… this magnificent feast here represents the *last* of the petty cash.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Slow down. Chew your food.
The guys I’ve hired can’t afford dinner?
B. Relations between consultant and client should always be professional.
[Dana is possessed]
Dr. Peter Venkman: I make it a rule never to get involved with possessed people.
[Dana starts passionately making out with him]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Actually, it’s more of a guideline than a rule…
“Do you want this body?”
“What is this, a trick question?”
C. Once you are on the job, it’s important to see yourself not as an individual but as representative of your client, lest your standing be challenged:
Gozer: [after Ray orders her to re-locate] Are you a god?
[Ray looks at Peter, who nods]
Dr. Ray Stantz: No.
Gozer: Then… DIE!
[Lightning flies from her fingers, driving the Ghostbusters to the edge of the roof and almost off; people below scream]
Winston Zeddemore: Ray, when someone asks you if you’re a god, you say “YES”!
Can I try that question over again?
D. Often the consultant is summoned when the customer fears something bad may be taking place. Should the consultant’s investigations confirm the client’s fears, it’s important to present them factually, with documentary evidence, so as to avoid being scapegoated within the client’s organization:
Larry King: Hi, this is Larry King. The phone-in topic today: “Ghosts and Ghostbusting.” The controversy builds, more sightings are reported, some maintain that these professional paranormal eliminators in
Are they responsible for all this dry ice?
[Continued tomorrow in Part 2.]
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